Talking to your ex after a breakup is one of the hardest things to do…especially if you were the one dumped. You wonder when you should call them, what you will say, and how they will react. This by far the most stressful part of getting your ex back, but you can take some of the pressure off by having a good excuse to start your conversation. Here are ten ideas for grabbing your ex girlfriend's attention…
1. Ask for Help
If she has any feelings left for you then she won't leave you hanging when you need help. Maybe you need a ride somewhere, or a place to stay while your air conditioner gets fixed. Just make sure you cover your tracks because things will get ugly if she finds out you lied.
2. Offer Your Help
A slightly different approach to point #1. This time it is you who reaches out to lend a hand. What does your ex girlfriend need that you can provide cheaper or faster than anyone else? Whatever it is, don't sell it too hard or she will get suspicious. Make an offer and let it sit. She may not call tomorrow, but a really good deal is always hard to pass up.
3. Be Seen
Staying in your ex's social is circle is important. You want her and her friends to see you having fun. You have to play it cool though - no stalking. It is always best to arrive and leave before her. If you broke up as "friends" then make sure you get in some face time, but always be the one to end the conversation.
4. Share Your Accomplishments
This works well with texts and voicemails. Let her know you aced the big final or that you finally got that job promotion. Be friendly about it and don't brag. The best line is "I really wanted to share this with you because you are the only one who understands how hard I worked for it".
5. Give Her the Scoop
This is so easy with a little internet research. Track her favorite bands, teams, and television shows. As soon as some juicy news is released be the first to send a text or email link. Obviously you can only do this so many times before it loses its luster, so make sure you uncover an important nugget of info.
6. Make the Impossible Happen
Get front row tickets to her favorite concert, replace that lost set of earrings, get her the job interview she always wanted…and give it to her with no strings attached (what?!?). This strategy will only work if you make it seem like it happened naturally. Tell her you had a connection through an old friend and she can pay you back later. There is always the risk she will take it and run…but the payout is huge if you can play it cool.
Whether you use these ideas or come up with your own, the important thing is to get your foot in the door. It is not easy to spark up a conversation after being dumped, but with a little imagination you can get her to open up again.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Using Affirmations to Get Her Back
There are thousands of websites, books, and guides that discuss the best way to get an ex girlfriend back. But no matter what tactics are suggested by their authors, they all have one thing in common. In some way or another they emphasize that confidence is the key to approaching your ex.
So no matter how many romantic quotes, mind games, and "secret strategies" you learn, you will still need to exude confidence if you are going to succeed. Being able to look your ex in the eyes and tell her how you feel and what you want is easy to visualize when you are alone, but putting these words into action is often the hardest transition for the broken hearted.
There are several ways to build your self-confidence. You can start a workout program to improve your appearance, change your clothes or hairstyle for a fresh new look, or even revert to alcohol to give you a little "liquid courage". Obviously some of these techniques will work better than others, but there is one thing you can do every day that is almost certain to boost your self-esteem. It is an old psychological technique called Affirmation.
The use of affirmation statements can be a very powerful tool. An affirmation is a mental statement or image which is repeated over and over again until it dominates your sub-conscious and ultimately changes your belief about yourself. For some people this process of self-reinforcement takes months while others see results in only a few days.
Make a list of all the reasons why you think your ex girlfriend has left you forever. Look at each reason and rewrite it as an opposite statement with a positive tone.
For example, you might be thinking that…
"She will never love me again because I am a loser."
An affirmation statement in this case would read…
"I know I can win her back because I am a fun person with many different interests."
Although this is a very simple example, if you choose to use this affirmation repeatedly over time you will eventually begin to reverse your negative self-image. It only takes a few minutes a day to focus on changing your outlook about your breakup, and once you begin to believe in yourself it will drastically change the way your ex thinks about you.
So no matter how many romantic quotes, mind games, and "secret strategies" you learn, you will still need to exude confidence if you are going to succeed. Being able to look your ex in the eyes and tell her how you feel and what you want is easy to visualize when you are alone, but putting these words into action is often the hardest transition for the broken hearted.
There are several ways to build your self-confidence. You can start a workout program to improve your appearance, change your clothes or hairstyle for a fresh new look, or even revert to alcohol to give you a little "liquid courage". Obviously some of these techniques will work better than others, but there is one thing you can do every day that is almost certain to boost your self-esteem. It is an old psychological technique called Affirmation.
The use of affirmation statements can be a very powerful tool. An affirmation is a mental statement or image which is repeated over and over again until it dominates your sub-conscious and ultimately changes your belief about yourself. For some people this process of self-reinforcement takes months while others see results in only a few days.
Make a list of all the reasons why you think your ex girlfriend has left you forever. Look at each reason and rewrite it as an opposite statement with a positive tone.
For example, you might be thinking that…
"She will never love me again because I am a loser."
An affirmation statement in this case would read…
"I know I can win her back because I am a fun person with many different interests."
Although this is a very simple example, if you choose to use this affirmation repeatedly over time you will eventually begin to reverse your negative self-image. It only takes a few minutes a day to focus on changing your outlook about your breakup, and once you begin to believe in yourself it will drastically change the way your ex thinks about you.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Does Your Ex Girlfriend Still Love You?
Part of the process for mending a relationship involves taking risks. At some point you will have to risk your humility and reach out to your ex girlfriend without knowing how she will react. This is where a lot of guys fail at getting their ex back. They don’t want to risk being rejected again, so they never get the chance to make things right.
Of course it is a lot easier when you know she still has feelings for you. If your ex girlfriend is still in love with you then your chances of winning her back become much better. But how can you tell if she is still in love with you? Here are some things to look for:
Lots of Questions
If your ex is always asking questions about what you are doing and who you are hanging out with then chances are she still loves you. This behavior shows that you are still on her mind throughout the day. Even if she is supposedly “not talking to you” she may still be checking up on your status through mutual friends. Keep your ears open and ask other people in her social circle if she still talks about you.
Accidental Encounters
This one is not always easy to identify, but if you find that your ex girlfriend is sporadically showing up at the same places where you work or hang out then there may be more to it then just fate. One of the ways to tell is if she actually talks to you when you see each other. Even if it is just a friendly “Hello” it might mean she is sending you a signal to make your move.
Staying Single
If it has been several weeks since your breakup and your ex has not dated anyone new there might still be some fire left in your relationship. You may think she hates you because she doesn’t call, but the fact that she is still single could suggest she is taking some time to think about things. It doesn’t necessarily mean she is going to jump right into your arms if you apologize, but it does prove your love has remained strong enough to keep other guys out of her life.
These are just a few signs that your ex still loves you. Learning to look for clues like this can give you the confidence boost to take the risk of asking for another chance.
But no matter how nice or mean your ex is acting, you will eventually have to put your pride on the line to get her back. You don’t want to look back at your past and realize you missed the opportunity to tell her how you really felt.
Of course it is a lot easier when you know she still has feelings for you. If your ex girlfriend is still in love with you then your chances of winning her back become much better. But how can you tell if she is still in love with you? Here are some things to look for:
Lots of Questions
If your ex is always asking questions about what you are doing and who you are hanging out with then chances are she still loves you. This behavior shows that you are still on her mind throughout the day. Even if she is supposedly “not talking to you” she may still be checking up on your status through mutual friends. Keep your ears open and ask other people in her social circle if she still talks about you.
Accidental Encounters
This one is not always easy to identify, but if you find that your ex girlfriend is sporadically showing up at the same places where you work or hang out then there may be more to it then just fate. One of the ways to tell is if she actually talks to you when you see each other. Even if it is just a friendly “Hello” it might mean she is sending you a signal to make your move.
Staying Single
If it has been several weeks since your breakup and your ex has not dated anyone new there might still be some fire left in your relationship. You may think she hates you because she doesn’t call, but the fact that she is still single could suggest she is taking some time to think about things. It doesn’t necessarily mean she is going to jump right into your arms if you apologize, but it does prove your love has remained strong enough to keep other guys out of her life.
These are just a few signs that your ex still loves you. Learning to look for clues like this can give you the confidence boost to take the risk of asking for another chance.
But no matter how nice or mean your ex is acting, you will eventually have to put your pride on the line to get her back. You don’t want to look back at your past and realize you missed the opportunity to tell her how you really felt.
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