When thinking about what it will take to get your ex girlfriend to come back, you should change your mindset to that of a salesman. In this case you are selling a better life. Now that may sound like a difficult task at first, but focus only on the short term aspects. You don't need to promise a lifetime of love and happiness because most of us are only looking ahead to what we will be doing this weekend.
Most of the things that people buy are designed to help them NOW. Only a small percentage of our purchases are made for the long term. With that in mind, you want to target emotions that will bring immediate benefits to your ex girlfriend.
This includes emotions like...
excitement
surprise
hopeful
anticipation
trust
admiration
serenity
curiosity
ecstasy
These are high-range emotions that can completely change a person's thoughts and opinions. They are also somewhat addictive, so the more you can provide improves the odds they will come back again.
On the flip side are negative emotions that we all try to avoid...
anger
frustration
fear
disgust
boredom
Obviously if you are trying to sell a "better life" using these emotions you are going to struggle. This is why taking the pathetic approach to getting a girl back never works out.
Prove to your ex that you can make her feel the highest of highs when it comes to emotions. We all want to feel good inside and if you become the provider of good feelings then she will stick around.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Be Prepared for Her Meltdown
There are two ways your ex girlfriend's new relationship can go - happily ever after or a return to ashes. Believe it or not, the latter is more likely. Rebound relationships have a high failure rate because they typically begin for all the wrong reasons. So the odds are in your favor that your ex girlfriend will face a meltdown at some point in the near future.
This can be a golden opportunity for you to make a positive impression on her if you plan accordingly. The hard part is planting the seeds for success long before your time comes. Basically you have two roadblocks in your way... trust and desire. These feelings need to be in place when her new love disintegrates.
How do you nurture these feelings after a breakup? The most effective way is to just be there for her. It sounds easy but of course there is a catch. You have to play it straight without pushing your feelings on her AND stay away from the friends zone. Being honest from the start is your best option.
Sometime after the break up, when things have cooled down enough to call her, tell her that you understand why she needed a break. Be supportive of the break up (even if you have to lie about it). Let your ex know that you still love her but you promise to give her the space she needs. Remind her that if she ever needs anything she can call you anytime... and then walk away.
This simple strategy will rebuild her confidence in you and create some mystery as to where your paths will cross again. Stay in her thoughts by being friendly from a distance. Let her experiment with the new boyfriend. This will be difficult I know, but keep in mind that you are setting yourself up for another chance down the road.
The time will come when your ex girlfriend needs someone to talk to. It might be when her new boyfriend dumps her, or it could be a different life-changing event where she needs to lean on a trusted source. If you do the right things she will look to you for support... and the opportunity to get her back will be there.
This can be a golden opportunity for you to make a positive impression on her if you plan accordingly. The hard part is planting the seeds for success long before your time comes. Basically you have two roadblocks in your way... trust and desire. These feelings need to be in place when her new love disintegrates.
How do you nurture these feelings after a breakup? The most effective way is to just be there for her. It sounds easy but of course there is a catch. You have to play it straight without pushing your feelings on her AND stay away from the friends zone. Being honest from the start is your best option.
Sometime after the break up, when things have cooled down enough to call her, tell her that you understand why she needed a break. Be supportive of the break up (even if you have to lie about it). Let your ex know that you still love her but you promise to give her the space she needs. Remind her that if she ever needs anything she can call you anytime... and then walk away.
This simple strategy will rebuild her confidence in you and create some mystery as to where your paths will cross again. Stay in her thoughts by being friendly from a distance. Let her experiment with the new boyfriend. This will be difficult I know, but keep in mind that you are setting yourself up for another chance down the road.
The time will come when your ex girlfriend needs someone to talk to. It might be when her new boyfriend dumps her, or it could be a different life-changing event where she needs to lean on a trusted source. If you do the right things she will look to you for support... and the opportunity to get her back will be there.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
How to Harness Your Ex's Rebellious Side
For a lot of women, coming out of a long-term relationship leads to a stretch of rebellion. They start going out to clubs, partying more, and sometimes they'll even hook up with your friends :o
Obviously this doesn't help you feel any better after being dumped, but what if there was a way to make it work in your favor? Well there is, but you will need to let loose of your own inhibitions before capitalizing on it.
The premise here is that your ex girlfriend was bored with your old relationship. This launched an insatiable urge for adventure and new experiences. Now it doesn't mean she won't return to "normal" after getting it out of her system. In the meantime though you should embrace her wild side. The best way to do that is by joining in the fun.
Let me explain here. So your ex goes out to the club, dances her butt off and has a blast. Meanwhile, you spent the night at home playing video games by yourself. Before you go to bed you send her a message on Facebook saying "I miss you." The next day she's online chatting with with her friends about the fun they had. Somewhere in there she sees your lame message. What kind of impact are you making here?
Now let's say you went out with your friends that night instead of staying home. You had to push yourself to do it, but in the end it felt good to have some fun. You stayed out late and never sent that "I miss you" to your ex. The next day your friends comment on your Facebook page about the good times. Your ex sees you've been having fun and letting loose. She begins to wonder if you have already forgotten about her.
Do you see how this can work if you play the right cards? If your ex girlfriend has gone rebellious then the best move is to find your own outlet for adventure. Perception is the key here. If she sees you as a loser then she won't be coming back anytime soon.
Obviously this doesn't help you feel any better after being dumped, but what if there was a way to make it work in your favor? Well there is, but you will need to let loose of your own inhibitions before capitalizing on it.
The premise here is that your ex girlfriend was bored with your old relationship. This launched an insatiable urge for adventure and new experiences. Now it doesn't mean she won't return to "normal" after getting it out of her system. In the meantime though you should embrace her wild side. The best way to do that is by joining in the fun.
Let me explain here. So your ex goes out to the club, dances her butt off and has a blast. Meanwhile, you spent the night at home playing video games by yourself. Before you go to bed you send her a message on Facebook saying "I miss you." The next day she's online chatting with with her friends about the fun they had. Somewhere in there she sees your lame message. What kind of impact are you making here?
Now let's say you went out with your friends that night instead of staying home. You had to push yourself to do it, but in the end it felt good to have some fun. You stayed out late and never sent that "I miss you" to your ex. The next day your friends comment on your Facebook page about the good times. Your ex sees you've been having fun and letting loose. She begins to wonder if you have already forgotten about her.
Do you see how this can work if you play the right cards? If your ex girlfriend has gone rebellious then the best move is to find your own outlet for adventure. Perception is the key here. If she sees you as a loser then she won't be coming back anytime soon.
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