Are you really giving your ex girlfriend enough space after your break up? Do you call or text her everyday? Are you always posting on her facebook page or checking up on her through friends? If this sounds like you then you have a control problem...and unless you change you'll likely never win her love back.
When your ex asks for some space or time apart it means they are overwhelmed. It may or may not have anything to do with your relationship. Sometimes family problems or other stressful situations can strain a relationship. Everyone handles stress in different ways, and if your ex GF wants some time alone then you should oblige her.
It is during this time apart that you have to be very careful. As much as you want to help her you need to keep in mind that it is easier to make things worse at this stage. When someone wants time alone they are going to be extra sensitive to their surroundings. The more you try to sneak in their life the more irritable they will become. Before you know it they will consider you a stalker and do everything they can to avoid you.
Love can make us do some dumb things. Perhaps the dumbest thing is when it causes us to lose our patience. When this happens our natural reaction is to fight to control the situation. When you are dealing with a break up it makes you want to control your ex girlfriend. You might think you are giving them space by not seeing them everyday, but if you keep calling or texting them you are still trying to control their actions...even if you don't mean for it to be that way.
Does this mean you have to disappear from their life? No, but you must allow them time to get their own issues under control. Gently remind them periodically that you are around if they need any help, but other than that you should let them come back to you. Chances are they will miss you after a period of time, but you can't speed it up by forcing the issue. Focus on fixing your own broken heart first before you try to fix theirs.
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3 comments:
my2 cent contribution;
Calling or sending a text massage to your ex often just make you look pathetic in her eyes so back off.Great tips there Elliot
Ive read everything going on the internet and e-books etc. they all say the same thing pretty much - GIVE HER SPACE AND TIME AND WAIT FOR HER TO CONTACT YOU !!
How ever, the sites for women trying to win back their boyfriends say the same thing too!!
I'm pretty sure my girl friend was in two minds when she asked for time out. In fact she just said she needed time out. she also said that she felt like she was making the biggest mistake of her life.
so we've done what where supposed to, no contact etc, we have bumped into each other and admitted to each other that we still love one another and would consider getting back together!
My fear is this : What if we are both waiting for the other to make contact as we are both taking the same advice ?.........
Ever since this women walked out of my life i've come to realise how good she was for me and how much I took her for granted. I really , really don't want to miss the boat because of game playing.
any suggestions? ......
Yea I feel you on that bro I been trying to give her space is what I think but I keep txting her tell her how I feel and keep trying to get her to guve me another chance that was last when I txted her a long letter saying how I feel tell her what I would do for her and she hasnt txted me back she deledted and blocked me on facebook for the secoud time cause I keep try to convince her to get back with me I really hope its not to late to try to give her space cause when we broke up sgmhe txted me and asked me was I okay and I was like no not really but I will be ok I hope she doesent give up on me I thought she was playing with me no contact or txt or anything am being stupid and keep tying what should do I dont want to like give up we where together for six months and out of know where she tell me she didnt want to be together anymore and of dhe txt me saying I stll sleep with your bear shirt u gave me do I just stop txting her and do me or what
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