Are you playing the role of safety net? Has your ex girlfriend severed your public relationship but kept you hanging with sweet whispers? It is easy to get sucked into this game. She says she still loves you but yet she is dating someone else..."because I can’t be in a serious relationship right now" she says.
So where does that leave you? If you love your ex then you are probably hesitant to close any open doors. After all, a small chance of dating her again is better than no chance at all. It is easy for your friends to say "let her go" when they don’t think of her every minute like you do. Their advice is logical, but there is one big problem with playing for second place - you have no bargaining power!
To succeed in this game you need to think like a poker player. It is a winner-take-all situation. Yes you have to win with the cards you are dealt which is uncontrollable. However a savvy player can bluff their opponent into making a mistake.
Here's how this translates into sharing your girlfriends love. It is okay to play by her rules in the beginning, but at some point you will have to shake things up. This is where the risk comes in. You will have to make her choose one of you...and there is a chance it won’t be you. Nonetheless you must not get comfortable balancing both of your hearts.
As time goes on you need to unexpectedly show up at places where you know she is with him. You should call at times when you know they are together. Most importantly, you need her to know that you are living life to the fullest when she is not around. If you do all of this well, you will become the focus of her thoughts (be them good or bad). Keep doing this until she is forced to pick one of you to maintain her sanity. The only catch is she might choose him.
It is here when you will learn who she loves the most.
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