Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Be Prepared for Her Meltdown

2012-02-01T10:28:00.004-05:00

There are two ways your ex girlfriend's new relationship can go - happily ever after or a return to ashes. Believe it or not, the latter is more likely. Rebound relationships have a high failure rate because they typically begin for all the wrong reasons. So the odds are in your favor that your ex girlfriend will face a meltdown at some point in the near future.

This can be a golden opportunity for you to make a positive impression on her if you plan accordingly. The hard part is planting the seeds for success long before your time comes. Basically you have two roadblocks in your way... trust and desire. These feelings need to be in place when her new love disintegrates.

How do you nurture these feelings after a breakup? The most effective way is to just be there for her. It sounds easy but of course there is a catch. You have to play it straight without pushing your feelings on her AND stay away from the friends zone. Being honest from the start is your best option.

Sometime after the break up, when things have cooled down enough to call her, tell her that you understand why she needed a break. Be supportive of the break up (even if you have to lie about it). Let your ex know that you still love her but you promise to give her the space she needs. Remind her that if she ever needs anything she can call you anytime... and then walk away.

This simple strategy will rebuild her confidence in you and create some mystery as to where your paths will cross again. Stay in her thoughts by being friendly from a distance. Let her experiment with the new boyfriend. This will be difficult I know, but keep in mind that you are setting yourself up for another chance down the road.

The time will come when your ex girlfriend needs someone to talk to. It might be when her new boyfriend dumps her, or it could be a different life-changing event where she needs to lean on a trusted source. If you do the right things she will look to you for support... and the opportunity to get her back will be there.

How to Harness Your Ex's Rebellious Side

2012-01-11T21:55:00.004-05:00

For a lot of women, coming out of a long-term relationship leads to a stretch of rebellion. They start going out to clubs, partying more, and sometimes they'll even hook up with your friends :o

Obviously this doesn't help you feel any better after being dumped, but what if there was a way to make it work in your favor? Well there is, but you will need to let loose of your own inhibitions before capitalizing on it.

The premise here is that your ex girlfriend was bored with your old relationship. This launched an insatiable urge for adventure and new experiences. Now it doesn't mean she won't return to "normal" after getting it out of her system. In the meantime though you should embrace her wild side. The best way to do that is by joining in the fun.

Let me explain here. So your ex goes out to the club, dances her butt off and has a blast. Meanwhile, you spent the night at home playing video games by yourself. Before you go to bed you send her a message on Facebook saying "I miss you." The next day she's online chatting with with her friends about the fun they had. Somewhere in there she sees your lame message. What kind of impact are you making here?

Now let's say you went out with your friends that night instead of staying home. You had to push yourself to do it, but in the end it felt good to have some fun. You stayed out late and never sent that "I miss you" to your ex. The next day your friends comment on your Facebook page about the good times. Your ex sees you've been having fun and letting loose. She begins to wonder if you have already forgotten about her.

Do you see how this can work if you play the right cards? If your ex girlfriend has gone rebellious then the best move is to find your own outlet for adventure. Perception is the key here. If she sees you as a loser then she won't be coming back anytime soon.

Maybe She Was Just Bored?

2011-11-08T14:26:00.004-05:00

It is easy to over-analyze why we got dumped. Selfishly we think of ourselves in the highest regard, which is why we have trouble imagining why anyone would leave us.

But what if the reason your ex girlfriend left was really no mystery at all? This happens more than people think...maybe she just got bored.

When was the last time you took your girl somewhere different?
How often were you genuinely excited about the date you had together?
Did you notice her telling friends and family about the fun you had?

It is easy to create excitement and curiosity when you put your mind to it. But when you start to get comfortable in a relationship you get lazy. Just remember that not all girls will wait around for you to make the most out of life.

Dating in some ways is not much different than shopping for electronics. The new gadgets and capabilities always seem to catch your eye. The television you bought just three years ago has been replaced on the sales floor with new models that have sharper images, more features, and likely a higher price tag. The price portrays the risk you must take to own the new model. If you can afford it then you might just cast your old one aside.

Complacency may have killed your relationship but it also holds the key to getting your ex back. It will be harder of course. You'll need to show a commitment to embracing all that life has to offer. If you can do that then she just might come back to you.

How the No Contact Rule Works

2011-10-06T19:53:00.004-04:00

You've probably heard of the "no contact rule" if you have been searching the internet for advice on how to get your ex back. It simply states that you should stay away from your ex as long as possible in order to make them miss you.

This is really good advice, especially if you went through a rough breakup. It takes a while for negative feelings to simmer down and even longer for the good memories to surface again. Obviously your gut is telling you to beg and apologize to your ex girlfriend, but none of this will work if they still resent you. So you can see why the no contact rule has its place.

Now I like to throw another element into avoiding contact. I believe you need to stay in their subliminal thoughts and this requires some ninja-like tactics. The short version is getting people in your girlfriend's inner circle to talk about you. Things like where they saw you, who you were with, and what you were up to.

The good news is you are a guy, which means you'll be relying on girls to do the gossiping;) The thing is though, you need to do something newsworthy in order to attract the gossip. Does this mean hooking up with someone new? I don't think that is necessary if you think outside the box. In fact, you might be surprised at how much attention you'll attract by simply having fun.

What about talking to your ex's friends? This can be a powerful weapon if you use it correctly. The first rule is never talk about your ex! You are guaranteed to get questions about her, which is when you politely decline with "I'm not here to talk about that." The best part about having no comment is it can really fuel the rumor mill. But back to her friends for a minute, try having a regular conversation with them. I promise that you will throw them all off their rocker when you end your chat without ever speaking your ex's name.

I'm rambling a bit here but I hope you see the point. Yes, the no contact rule is recommended. However, you can enhance the power of no contact by keeping your name in the news. Find a way to showcase your assets without exposing your true intentions.

How Video Games Can Get Your Ex GF Back

2011-09-04T12:29:00.003-04:00

A thought occurred to me the other day while shopping at GameStop. There are a lot of similarities between video games and how an ex girlfriend feels about her previous relationship.

Think about some of the biggest franchises in the video game world: Madden Football, Call of Duty, Halo, etc. Each sells thousands of copies of every time a new version is released. Consequently, thousands of old versions suddenly become almost worthless. They get tossed into a drawer, never to be played again, or they die a slow death as a used game on store shelves.

So what can you learn from the video game industry that will help you get your ex girlfriend back? The lesson here is that we will always love Madden Football, but our excitement gets renewed each year with the latest release. The core game play never changes much, but having new graphics and options gives the "same old game" an addicting new feel.

Picture coming home to last year's Call of Duty after playing the new one at your friend's house. Sure it is comfortable because you already know the boards and secrets, but the excitement level is minimal. All you can think about is how to get your hands on the new version.

Your ex girlfriend still likes you for the same reasons you still like last year's game - it's a sentimental attachment. The problem is she has seen the new version out there somewhere. He has some of the same characteristics as you...but he offers more features and excitement.

Bottom line: It is time to upgrade yourself if you want to win her back.

How to Make Your Ex Girlfriend Miss You Like Crazy

2011-08-10T14:40:00.003-04:00

Does she even notice you're not around anymore? It probably doesn't seem like it since she doesn't call or see you much. But inside her mind I can tell you that she still thinks about you. It is virtually impossible to completely forget about someone you have been in a relationship with for so long. The first time she goes to places you used to visit together her mind will drift back to those times. Same thing for the other hundreds of activities you did with her in the past.

But how can you get her to miss you like crazy? The simple answer is by disappearing from her life and creating curiosity about what you are up to. This isn't necessarily the easiest plan to pull off, but it is very effective for changing her feelings about breaking up with you.

The first thing you need to do is get out of the house and go make a name for yourself. Reconnect with old friends, get more involved in your social circles, and start creating your own fun. Don't wait to be invited to a party or event...come up with your own ideas and invite the people you know. Take advantage of every opportunity to be seen. Helping friends with their own projects is a great place to begin if you need ideas.

Now, while you are out having fun you want to make sure your ex girlfriend sees or hears about your activities. Facebook is one way to do this. Even if she has dropped you from her "friends" you can still find your way onto her page by appearing in other friends pictures and conversations. Remember that the more activities you participate in the better your chances are to show up on her radar.

If you do all this right you will build up a rock-star persona that will make your ex girlfriend think she was crazy for letting you go. The key for you is to play "hard to get" for a while and make her miss you to the point that she will ask you out!

You might have your doubts as to how effective this plan can be. Most people never put in enough effort for it to impact their ex's feelings. It is an all-or-nothing type strategy. Unless you achieve the highest levels of social prowess within the common friends you and your ex have then the results will be less effective. But those who do establish a high level of popularity will discover a whole new world of opportunity. Perhaps even enough to leave their ex behind.

Be Careful Who You Talk to About Your Breakup

2011-07-19T22:52:00.004-04:00

It isn't easy to keep all of your emotions bottled up inside after a breakup. Most people in this situation have a tendency to talk about their ex girlfriend to anyone who will listen, and this can be a big mistake.

You don't want to get exposed at saying one thing but doing another. For example, playing cool and confident around your ex is a good strategy for attracting her curiosity. However, as soon as she hears from her friends that you were crying on their shoulders she'll have a hard time falling for your macho man facade.

I wouldn't recommend talking openly about your ex to anyone except for maybe one or two of your closest friends. The fact is that the more you talk the greater chance you have of making a mistake. Rumors fly fast, and the last thing you need right now is having to apologize for something you said in the heat of the moment.

Unfortunately there are very few people you can trust when trying to get your ex back. Her friends are going to tell her everything you say, so don't think for a second they are on your side. As for the guys, you never know who will try to ask her out when they hear she is available. Last but not least is her family...and who's side do you think they'll take?

The bottom line here is that public perception is your best weapon. You want to keep everyone guessing about your next move. If you need to cry or feel sorry for yourself then keep it confined to your bedroom. When you're in social situations you should portray yourself as the trophy she let get away.

Understand That Girlfriends and Relationships Change

2011-06-15T22:21:00.003-04:00

There are countless reasons why a breakup can occur, but a common denominator you see in long term relationships is change. As life goes on you and your ex girlfriend go through many changes. Maybe you met in high school and now she is in college. Perhaps one of you got a new job that demands more time away. The list is endless, and it doesn't take much to upset the expectations you have for each other.

If any of this sounds familiar to your situation ask yourself how you feel about the changes. This is going to be the best place to begin after getting dumped. Can you handle the changes life has brought to your relationship? Do you see you and your girlfriend ever working things out under the current circumstances?

These are important questions to answer before trying to get your ex girlfriend back. If one side refuses to make sacrifices then the outlook is not good. If you are the one set in your ways then you have no choice but to accept the outcome. However, if your ex is being stubborn you can try to change their mind. This of course will not be easy, but if you can find out what your ex really wants you might be able to coerce them back.

People tend to look at breakups as an action that occurred at a specific day or time. In reality though a breakup is the end result of one or more problems that were never solved. This is why there are no simple fixes for a breakup...they are all different in some way.

Look back at the changes you and your ex girlfriend have been through lately. How were they handled? Is it possible that something could have been done to satisfy both sides? Even if you blame her for everything you're going to have to satisfy her needs if you want to win her back.

What Does Your Ex Girlfriend Want in a Man?

2011-05-23T14:54:00.005-04:00

The simple truth behind your ex girlfriend leaving was that she wasn't getting what she wanted from your relationship. Sure there are many different excuses she might have used to breakup with you, but in the end no one leaves a relationship they are satisfied with.

One easy way to identify your short-comings is to look at the things most women want from a man. Not all of them will apply to your specific situation and some of them are difficult to achieve, but keep these ideas in mind as you try to win your ex back:

(Note: this is a random collection of survey findings I gathered from around the internet for entertainment purposes only.)

- The majority of women want to date a college educated man.
- The "ideal man" is about 6 foot tall and weighs 175 pounds.
- Over 60% list physical fitness as an important quality in a dating partner.
- Only 28% of women DO NOT care how much their man earns.
- Women think men look most appealing in designer jeans with a white t-shirt.
- Women rate desire for home and children much higher in importance than men.
- Only 1% of women would date a man who hates pets.
- Traits that women hate in men: hiding emotions, dishonesty, selfishness, and abusiveness.
- Most common reasons women ended a relationship: lack of commitment, cheating, and selfishness.

Maybe you see some things on this list that you can work on to save your relationship (or your next one). While this was a very simplified look at the things women want from men, chances are your ex girlfriend has spent time thinking some of them. Use this to your advantage when you are trying to win back their attention.

Your Breakup Was a Warning

2011-04-04T21:39:00.003-04:00

Instead of taking the standard approach of depression and despair after being dumped, you should distinguish yourself by accepting it as a challenge. Not only will this help motivate you on the way to getting your ex girlfriend back, but you might just spark her attraction by showing her that you got the message loud and clear.

Here's the deal on breakups...nine times out of ten they are the result of a festering problem. It is up to you to figure out what the problem was, but I can tell you that boredom, money, and quality time are some of the common ones. Now somewhere along the way your ex girlfriend got sick of waiting for you to fix the problem. Maybe she talked to you about...or perhaps she was justing waiting for you to get off your butt and make a change. When nothing happened she sent you a final warning by leaving.

Obviously you missed the boat on her needs the first time, so now is your chance to make amends. Yes it is going to be harder this time around, but in reality that's your fault. The real question is...are you ready to accept the challenge? Do you want to change your lifestyle in ways that will better accommodate her needs?

Every girl has a unique set of dreams and desires. If you truly love your ex then it is up to you to satisfy these wants. Maybe she wants a guy with a good job and plan for the future. Then again, maybe she just wants someone to make her feel safe and confident. Whatever her needs, you have the power to make it happen...but only if you want to.

The 2 Sides of Arguing with Your Ex

2011-03-06T21:40:00.003-05:00

Although break ups happen for a variety of different reasons, there is usually a core disagreement that brings on the tidal wave of strong emotions. It might be about money, time spent together, or even commitment. No matter what it is, the arguments that ensue go a long way to determining the fate of the relationship.

There is a competitive side in everyone...that internal desire to be right. It is a natural reactions that ultimately helps us be successful in achieving goals. But when you argue with your partner and both sides are fighting to win the result is you both lose.

Think about the arguments that you've had with your ex girlfriend where you "won". What happened afterwards? It probably took a few days for everyone to cool down - right? So although you proved your point, your relationship took a hit. You raised the defense level of your ex and likely lost some of her trust as well.

When it comes to arguments, the only way to truly win is to lose. Admitting your faults tends to lower the defenses of your partner, which allows them to see how silly the fight really was. This can open up the channels of communication, and often times will let you both laugh about making such a big deal over nothing.

Now I should add that being a push-over won't help you gain any respect, so you have walk a fine line when sensitive issues come up. Stand by your moral code and defend it as necessary, but when it comes to things like "who forgot to wash the dishes" you might find more peace by taking the higher road.

Lastly, keep in mind that presentation is everything. They way you engage your ex about problems sets the precedent for their reaction. Instead of coming out the gate firing away, keep your composure and work on a solution together. For example, mentioning that dirty dishes are a pet peeve of yours might be enough to make your point without causing a firestorm. It is all about the way you communicate.

Help Your Ex Girlfriend Choose You

2011-02-05T21:00:00.002-05:00

Throughout the subject of getting your ex girlfriend back there is a common link to all of the strategies and advice given here. That is, to make the dream of winning back her love a reality, it must be her who chooses you.

Sure you might get lucky and beg your way back for a second chance. Perhaps you can even lie about your faults and con your way back. But the fact is your ex is not going to be at peace with the decision unless she makes it herself.

If you look at things this way then I think you'll agree that the best approach is to focus on becoming attractive to her. Somewhere down the line she lost this feeling about you. It could be a physical thing, but more likely it is an emotional obstacle. Only you would know, but whatever you had or did it is not there anymore.

Love, attraction and passion are feelings that can overcome any boundary. When you feel strong enough about someone then you forgive much more easily. Love accepts the bad with the good, but when the love fades the bad things become more distracting.

Find a way to attract your ex back. If you resurrect her feelings of passion for you then the rest will come easy.

Do You Really Need Your Ex Girlfriend?

2011-01-20T23:24:00.008-05:00

Understanding why you want your ex girlfriend back is an important step in the process of getting back together. Many guys fail at this and end up chasing their ex down the wrong path. In this video, Michael Griswold explains the difference between "Need" and "Desire" while showing you how it affects your chances to win your GF back.

Check out Michael's collection of breakup advice in The M3 System.

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Why Did Your Ex Girlfriend Date You?

2010-12-10T14:57:00.003-05:00

The most important part of getting your ex back is creating attraction between you. That being said, this can also be the most difficult task since it requires creativity and planning. A lot of people give up before they even try to re-attract their ex. If they don't succeed by begging for another chance (which rarely works btw) then they figure all hope is lost.

But did you know the secrets to attracting your ex girlfriend are easy to discover? It all goes back to the first weeks and months of your relationship. What was it that brought you together in the first place? It is easy to say there was a physical attraction, but in reality that only took you so far. There had to be a personality element involved or else you would not have gotten past the first couple of dates.

Think back to your time together and try to picture all of the things you said or did that made her smile. Also think about the things you loved to do together. These are the secrets to getting her back in your life. The more you can replicate the good times from the past, the better your chances will be in the future.

Now you will need to spin all of these ideas in a creative way. Just making her laugh for example is not going to get the job done. Try to repackage the ideas in a way that will call her attention to you. For example, if you were good at making her laugh then maybe a friendly/funny card or text would help you get your foot in the door. You aren't going to make her fall in love right away, but anything that takes away from the stress and animosity is a good thing.

Win Her Back from Another Guy

2010-10-31T22:57:00.003-04:00

Competition can definitely add stress to the dating game, but if you really love your ex girlfriend than competition should bring out the best in you. If you know she has found another guy then you should be prepared to work a little harder to win her back. But in the end it really does not change anything about your situation. She left you and you want another shot...whomever else is involved is irrelevant.

The first thing you should realize is that girls often go out with the first guy who is nice to them after a break up. They are tired of all the fighting and name-calling that likely occurred at the end of your relationship. So the first "normal guy" that steps up to them has a good shot at landing a few dates. This doesn't mean they are in love with them. What they really wanted was something different for a change. Keep that in mind when you are sizing up the other guy.

The key to stealing your ex back is to make sure you are getting attention from them. Now is the time to always look your best and go out of your way to make a good impression. If she isn't talking to you then get closer with her friends. Change your hairstyle, start working out, and invest in some new clothes. Make her see that you are still a hot commodity in the dating world.

At some point you are going to have to talk your way back into her life. The best approach is play it cool and totally ignore the other guy. If she says something about him then blow it off and redirect the conversation back to how much you miss her company. Tell her that she was the best girlfriend you ever had and let her know the door is still open. You don't want to beg for anything. Instead you need to leave her wanting more. The harder you make it for her to come back the more attraction you will build.

Getting your ex girlfriend back from another guy isn't any different from winning her back if she was single. If anything, it might be a positive because some girls want to take a break after the end of a relationship. If your ex if dating someone else then at least you know she is looking for a partner. Now you just need to turn her attention back to you ;)

How to Compliment Your Ex Girlfriend

2010-10-06T20:19:00.003-04:00

An easy way to start a conversation with your ex girlfriend is to give her a compliment. Most of the time this works to defuse the animosity left from your breakup. Of course depending on your situation she may still act cold towards you, but typically a compliment will at least give you the opportunity to get a few more sentences in.

The key to using compliments effectively is to make sure they are honest and not too aggressive. Don't compliment her hair, for example, if you don't actually notice any change in it. You'll also want to avoid sexual-type comments that may be offensive. If your not careful then you might end up with a slap to the face instead of a smile!

Here are some compliment ideas to get you back on speaking terms with your Ex GF...

"I really miss talking with you. You're the only girl I could talk to all day and night."

"It's not fair that you break up with me, make feel like dirt, and yet you get more beautiful every day."

"I know you are mad at me, but I really miss your smile and laugh. If you don't smile right now then I will be forced to do my magical happy dance until you do." (note: be prepared to do some dancing :)

"How do you do that? Every time I'm near you I forget all of the bad things in my life."

Let Her Breakup with You?

2010-09-03T00:18:00.002-04:00

It is a common reaction to try and prevent a break up before it is official. After all, if you still love your girlfriend then why would you want to see them leave? But believe it not, it can sometimes be easier to let your Ex GF walk away and try to repair things later.

In fact, if your relationship has reached a point where your girlfriend wants to separate, then my advice to you is to agree to the breakup. Your biggest mistake would be to try and persuade your ex to stay in the relationship and not to leave you. This psychological strategy is recommended because it surprises your ex, and makes them begin to wonder exactly what is going on.

Another benefit of mutually walking away is that it eliminates one of the biggest barriers to getting your ex back. This has to do with the law of attraction. As you may already know, humans tend to want the things they can't have and yet often fail to appreciate the things they already have. You can use this to your advantage by making it appear your ex girlfriend does not have a choice in breaking up with you.

Agree to the breakup, let her go and wish them well. From there you need to stay calm and keep your emotions in-check. Yes you are feeling sad, but you have to find a way to deal it in a way that will help you rekindle your relationship in the future. The best place to start is by thinking about what went wrong and identifying what it is your ex really wants.

I know it sounds like a contradiction to let your ex girlfriend go...only to try a win them back later. But if you can see how valuable this strategy is to the psychology of your relationship then you will have no problem trying to capitalize on what appears to be a bad situation.

Was Your Ex Girlfriend a Hunter or a Gardener?

2010-07-30T13:27:00.004-04:00

You have probably heard others use the term "comfort zone" to describe repeated activities and situations that make us feel confident about ourselves. Knowing your limits, both socially and physically, is important to ensure happiness but it can have adverse effects as well. If you feel like your ex girlfriend broke up with you to "move on" with her life then perhaps your comfort zone killed the relationship.

Think of your relationship in terms of repetition. Did you always do the same activities with the same friends? How often did you try new things that you ex girlfriend suggested? The reason for thinking about these questions is because the most loving relationships grow and change over time. Your ex may have come to a point where she felt like she needed to leave you in order to realize her own dreams and goals.

Of course only your ex can say if this was indeed the case, but it shouldn't be hard to recognize if you are a hunter or a gardener. Hunters are always looking for new challenges and opportunities, while gardeners are content to nurture what they already have. If your ex girlfriend had a hunter mentality then she may very well have been turned off by your gardener approach to the relationship.

You don't need to make changes to your life in order to attract women, but you will need to accommodate the hunters in your life. If you can't find excitement in new experiences then you should look for a partner who is content with the way things are.

Stop Trying to Control Your Ex Girlfriend

2010-06-09T21:23:00.003-04:00

Are you really giving your ex girlfriend enough space after your break up? Do you call or text her everyday? Are you always posting on her facebook page or checking up on her through friends? If this sounds like you then you have a control problem...and unless you change you'll likely never win her love back.

When your ex asks for some space or time apart it means they are overwhelmed. It may or may not have anything to do with your relationship. Sometimes family problems or other stressful situations can strain a relationship. Everyone handles stress in different ways, and if your ex GF wants some time alone then you should oblige her.

It is during this time apart that you have to be very careful. As much as you want to help her you need to keep in mind that it is easier to make things worse at this stage. When someone wants time alone they are going to be extra sensitive to their surroundings. The more you try to sneak in their life the more irritable they will become. Before you know it they will consider you a stalker and do everything they can to avoid you.

Love can make us do some dumb things. Perhaps the dumbest thing is when it causes us to lose our patience. When this happens our natural reaction is to fight to control the situation. When you are dealing with a break up it makes you want to control your ex girlfriend. You might think you are giving them space by not seeing them everyday, but if you keep calling or texting them you are still trying to control their actions...even if you don't mean for it to be that way.

Does this mean you have to disappear from their life? No, but you must allow them time to get their own issues under control. Gently remind them periodically that you are around if they need any help, but other than that you should let them come back to you. Chances are they will miss you after a period of time, but you can't speed it up by forcing the issue. Focus on fixing your own broken heart first before you try to fix theirs.

How Friends Help Get Your Ex GF Back

2010-03-26T22:52:00.003-04:00

The period after a breakup is a lonely time. Your mind is obsessed with your ex and you don't really care to think about anything else. Even if you have good friends who understand your situation you might be hesitant to spend time with them because all you want to talk about is your ex. Most guys are kind enough to let their friends wallow in sadness for a few days, but after too long they will stop calling until you get yourself together.

It is unlikely that your friends know how you feel about your ex girlfriend and this can make it hard to hang out with them. However, the more you expose yourself to social situations the better you will feel. Yes it will be hard to enjoy yourself in a room where everyone is laughing and joking when you feel so sad. It will also be difficult to hold back your emotions and not talk about your ex. This is part of the healing process...and unless you force yourself to move forward it will take you twice as long to feel better.

So how can your friends help you get you ex girlfriend back? It's simple really...they will help you go back to being you. Remember that you met most of your buddies before your relationship. The confidence and personality you had back then was partly the result of their influence on you. They helped to bring out traits in you that your Ex GF found attractive. Reconnecting with your friends will help these traits resurface.

If anything else, being around people you like during this time of confusion will be beneficial. It is not always easy to remember what "fun" used to feel like. Getting back in touch with your roots will remind you of the things you enjoyed. This will improve your mood and ultimately change the ways others perceive you. In a perfect world your ex will also notice the return of the "old you" and remember what she is missing.

When Your Ex Girlfriend Loves Both of You

2010-02-28T21:17:00.000-05:00

Are you playing the role of safety net? Has your ex girlfriend severed your public relationship but kept you hanging with sweet whispers? It is easy to get sucked into this game. She says she still loves you but yet she is dating someone else..."because I can’t be in a serious relationship right now" she says.

So where does that leave you? If you love your ex then you are probably hesitant to close any open doors. After all, a small chance of dating her again is better than no chance at all. It is easy for your friends to say "let her go" when they don’t think of her every minute like you do. Their advice is logical, but there is one big problem with playing for second place - you have no bargaining power!

To succeed in this game you need to think like a poker player. It is a winner-take-all situation. Yes you have to win with the cards you are dealt which is uncontrollable. However a savvy player can bluff their opponent into making a mistake.

Here's how this translates into sharing your girlfriends love. It is okay to play by her rules in the beginning, but at some point you will have to shake things up. This is where the risk comes in. You will have to make her choose one of you...and there is a chance it won’t be you. Nonetheless you must not get comfortable balancing both of your hearts.

As time goes on you need to unexpectedly show up at places where you know she is with him. You should call at times when you know they are together. Most importantly, you need her to know that you are living life to the fullest when she is not around. If you do all of this well, you will become the focus of her thoughts (be them good or bad). Keep doing this until she is forced to pick one of you to maintain her sanity. The only catch is she might choose him.

It is here when you will learn who she loves the most.

6 Ways to Get Your Ex Girlfriend's Attention

2009-10-14T22:41:00.002-04:00

Talking to your ex after a breakup is one of the hardest things to do…especially if you were the one dumped. You wonder when you should call them, what you will say, and how they will react. This by far the most stressful part of getting your ex back, but you can take some of the pressure off by having a good excuse to start your conversation. Here are ten ideas for grabbing your ex girlfriend's attention…

1. Ask for Help
If she has any feelings left for you then she won't leave you hanging when you need help. Maybe you need a ride somewhere, or a place to stay while your air conditioner gets fixed. Just make sure you cover your tracks because things will get ugly if she finds out you lied.

2. Offer Your Help
A slightly different approach to point #1. This time it is you who reaches out to lend a hand. What does your ex girlfriend need that you can provide cheaper or faster than anyone else? Whatever it is, don't sell it too hard or she will get suspicious. Make an offer and let it sit. She may not call tomorrow, but a really good deal is always hard to pass up.

3. Be Seen
Staying in your ex's social is circle is important. You want her and her friends to see you having fun. You have to play it cool though - no stalking. It is always best to arrive and leave before her. If you broke up as "friends" then make sure you get in some face time, but always be the one to end the conversation.

4. Share Your Accomplishments
This works well with texts and voicemails. Let her know you aced the big final or that you finally got that job promotion. Be friendly about it and don't brag. The best line is "I really wanted to share this with you because you are the only one who understands how hard I worked for it".

5. Give Her the Scoop
This is so easy with a little internet research. Track her favorite bands, teams, and television shows. As soon as some juicy news is released be the first to send a text or email link. Obviously you can only do this so many times before it loses its luster, so make sure you uncover an important nugget of info.

6. Make the Impossible Happen
Get front row tickets to her favorite concert, replace that lost set of earrings, get her the job interview she always wanted…and give it to her with no strings attached (what?!?). This strategy will only work if you make it seem like it happened naturally. Tell her you had a connection through an old friend and she can pay you back later. There is always the risk she will take it and run…but the payout is huge if you can play it cool.

Whether you use these ideas or come up with your own, the important thing is to get your foot in the door. It is not easy to spark up a conversation after being dumped, but with a little imagination you can get her to open up again.

Using Affirmations to Get Her Back

2009-07-14T00:32:00.001-04:00

There are thousands of websites, books, and guides that discuss the best way to get an ex girlfriend back. But no matter what tactics are suggested by their authors, they all have one thing in common. In some way or another they emphasize that confidence is the key to approaching your ex.

So no matter how many romantic quotes, mind games, and "secret strategies" you learn, you will still need to exude confidence if you are going to succeed. Being able to look your ex in the eyes and tell her how you feel and what you want is easy to visualize when you are alone, but putting these words into action is often the hardest transition for the broken hearted.

There are several ways to build your self-confidence. You can start a workout program to improve your appearance, change your clothes or hairstyle for a fresh new look, or even revert to alcohol to give you a little "liquid courage". Obviously some of these techniques will work better than others, but there is one thing you can do every day that is almost certain to boost your self-esteem. It is an old psychological technique called Affirmation.

The use of affirmation statements can be a very powerful tool. An affirmation is a mental statement or image which is repeated over and over again until it dominates your sub-conscious and ultimately changes your belief about yourself. For some people this process of self-reinforcement takes months while others see results in only a few days.

Make a list of all the reasons why you think your ex girlfriend has left you forever. Look at each reason and rewrite it as an opposite statement with a positive tone.

For example, you might be thinking that…
"She will never love me again because I am a loser."

An affirmation statement in this case would read…
"I know I can win her back because I am a fun person with many different interests."

Although this is a very simple example, if you choose to use this affirmation repeatedly over time you will eventually begin to reverse your negative self-image. It only takes a few minutes a day to focus on changing your outlook about your breakup, and once you begin to believe in yourself it will drastically change the way your ex thinks about you.

Does Your Ex Girlfriend Still Love You?

2009-05-06T21:32:00.002-04:00

Part of the process for mending a relationship involves taking risks. At some point you will have to risk your humility and reach out to your ex girlfriend without knowing how she will react. This is where a lot of guys fail at getting their ex back. They don’t want to risk being rejected again, so they never get the chance to make things right.

Of course it is a lot easier when you know she still has feelings for you. If your ex girlfriend is still in love with you then your chances of winning her back become much better. But how can you tell if she is still in love with you? Here are some things to look for:

Lots of Questions
If your ex is always asking questions about what you are doing and who you are hanging out with then chances are she still loves you. This behavior shows that you are still on her mind throughout the day. Even if she is supposedly “not talking to you” she may still be checking up on your status through mutual friends. Keep your ears open and ask other people in her social circle if she still talks about you.

Accidental Encounters
This one is not always easy to identify, but if you find that your ex girlfriend is sporadically showing up at the same places where you work or hang out then there may be more to it then just fate. One of the ways to tell is if she actually talks to you when you see each other. Even if it is just a friendly “Hello” it might mean she is sending you a signal to make your move.

Staying Single
If it has been several weeks since your breakup and your ex has not dated anyone new there might still be some fire left in your relationship. You may think she hates you because she doesn’t call, but the fact that she is still single could suggest she is taking some time to think about things. It doesn’t necessarily mean she is going to jump right into your arms if you apologize, but it does prove your love has remained strong enough to keep other guys out of her life.

These are just a few signs that your ex still loves you. Learning to look for clues like this can give you the confidence boost to take the risk of asking for another chance.

But no matter how nice or mean your ex is acting, you will eventually have to put your pride on the line to get her back. You don’t want to look back at your past and realize you missed the opportunity to tell her how you really felt.

Asking Your Ex Girlfriend Out

2009-03-14T18:55:00.001-04:00

Once you get to the point where you and your ex girlfriend are talking and being friendly again, you begin to think about if you should ask them out. Obviously this is a tough decision because there are really only two outcomes…either they say "yes" and everything is good…or they say "no" and your relationship becomes very uncertain.

So how do you know when the time is right? Well for starters you should be listening to how she talks about you. If she uses the word "friends" to describe your relationship then you have more a lot more work to do. But if you start to feel the electricity building between you, and you are laughing and having "moments" together, then the momentum is definitely on your side.

What is the best way to ask your ex girlfriend out for the first time? No matter how well things are going with your ex since your breakup you still have to focus on impressing them. Don't remind them of the "old days" by taking them somewhere you have been a hundred times.

Get creative and come up with a fun and engaging activity that will take the stress out of your first date back together. Concerts, sporting events, and amusement parks are all good choices. A fun activity will make it easy much easier to pop the question. Start with something like "Amy, I've got 2 great seats for the Coldplay concert, and I was hoping you would go with me."

If there is any sparks of romance left then she will have no second thoughts about saying "YES". The key is to make an offer that she can't refuse.

The Secrets to a Happy Girlfriend

2008-11-18T23:01:00.000-05:00

Many guys tend to outthink themselves when they are trying to win back their ex girlfriend. They look back on their relationship and try to identify all of the things they did wrong that led them to being dumped. This is a loser mentality because it focuses on the negatives instead of concentrating on the most important thing - which is making their girlfriend happy. If you can make a woman happy then no one will ever be able to compete with you for her heart. By satisfying her fundamental needs you will win her back forever.

Safety and Security
Your girlfriend has to feel confident and secure around you. But this doesn't mean you have to be a heavyweight boxer who knocks out every guy who looks at her. Security comes in many different forms. There is the emotional security of knowing she can share all of her thoughts with you. There is the trust she must have that you will always be honest and not take advantage of her love. Last but not least, you have to make her feel safe and confident in her life. Whether it is money concerns or family problems, you have to be the one she will lean on when times get tough.

Excitement and Adventure
It is easy to become complacent in a relationship and take tings for granted, but in order to keep the flames of passion burning strong you have to be spontaneous and exciting. We all have things in life we would like to try, and the longer your girlfriend wonders what life would be like without you the harder it is to get her back. Don’t rely on the same romantic efforts to work for every occasion. Mix things up and help her to expand her life experiences. Never let her get bored to the point she questions your relationship.

Achievement
The most fulfilling lives are filled with constant cycle of goal achievement. The most common goals are centered on school, career, family, and personal dreams. Find ways to help you girlfriend achieve her goals. Celebrate her achievements and give her encouragement to reach her expectations. In some cases she will only need your emotional support, but other times you might have to do more. In any case, she will slowly begin to believe she can do anything with you by her side. This is where your relationship will truly flourish.

Why did your ex girlfriend leave you? Most likely it is because you failed at one or more of these simple things. But instead of wasting time looking back on where you went wrong, work on ways to show her they you understand her needs and start to rebuild the trust you have lost.

It Is Up To You

2008-09-23T23:09:00.000-04:00

If you have done any research on ways to get your ex girlfriend back then you have undoubtedly come across many people in the same situation as yourself. You see them on the internet forums and social websites looking for help from anyone who will listen. But what are they really looking for? For most of them they want an instant fix for a problem that has been probably been growing for several weeks.

No matter what advice you read, the bottom line is that you need to take action to see results. You will never find a solution to win back your girlfriend's love that doesn’t involve some work on your part. The more you understand that the pressure is on you the better your results will be. Looking to others to repair your relationship can help, but ultimately you have to take control.

What is your game plan? What are you going to do today to make her see how special your relationship really was? Now is the time to build your strategy and put it to work. If you don’t know where to start then get some ideas here, but remember that you can’t be scared to make the first move. Waiting for the perfect time is just an excuse to avoid dealing with the issues. Procrastination will not only delay your results, but it gives someone else the chance to move in on her.

Work Smarter – Not Harder

2008-08-15T16:11:00.001-04:00

One thing to think about when pursuing your ex is how to maximize your efforts. Don’t make the mistake of thinking the more times you call or pester them that they will eventually give in. You are much better off creating mystery or intrigue about your motives.

You want your ex girlfriend to think about you in a positive way, and this won’t happen if you are constantly in their face. Be subtle with your efforts and try to use subliminal psychology. Think of ways to remind them of how good things were without coming right out and saying it.

If you are successful then they won’t be able to get you out of their mind…even if they are trying to forget you!

Why Did She Leave You?

2008-07-19T14:07:00.000-04:00

The most overwhelming feeling after you have been dumped is helplessness. Many guys are completely confused as to why they were dumped, and this leads to frustration and low self-esteem. These feelings create a panic mode where they do stupid things to try and get their ex back. But you don’t have to go crazy in order to win back love. In fact, the more you stay cool and focused the better your results will be.

No matter how confusing your ex girlfriend’s actions may have been, unless you understand the real reason they left you won’t know how to fix the relationship. You may find out that they left you for another man. This is hard to swallow but it doesn’t mean you can’t get them back in your life. The bottom line is you have to attack the problem at its source. Not understanding what went wrong leaves you blindly throwing darts at a wall.

In most situations there are 5 main reasons you got dumped. Sometimes there is more than one cause, but more than you likely you can guess which one was the most serious. Think about what caused things to get to the breaking point and brainstorm ideas for reversing the damage. You may have to pull some gimmicks to get her to talk to you again, but once you are in you will need to concentrate on the main issues. No amount of flowers, gifts or begging will solve your problems until you get her to see that you have made changes to fix the biggest conflict between you.

Does She Still Love You?

2008-05-24T21:55:00.001-04:00

Even the hardest break ups can be more the result of bad timing as opposed to a change in feelings. So many factors can cause a split in a relationship. Things like money, work, and social influences are some of the most common reasons. Determining what caused your ex girlfriend to leave can give you a good idea of how permanent the break up will be. One thing you want to figure out is if you think she still loves you. If this powerful emotion remains then the future may be brighter than you think.

It is not always easy to tell if she still loves you when you are constantly bickering or avoiding each other, but there here are some things to consider. If the fight was about real-world problems such as money, time spent together, and work then it is likely you connection was only weakened by these issues. The love is still alive beneath these distractions, but there will need to be changes if things are ever going to work out.

If your break up was the result of cheating or criminal activity, then the future is not as bright. These behaviors are an indicator that the trust and respect has been lost in your relationship. This is not to say that it is impossible to overcome their effects, but the feelings of love have dwindled to a point where she is willing to risk your future together. You will have to work smart and creatively to win her back in these circumstances.

There is always potential when love still exists in a relationship. While it may not always be evident when you are fighting with your ex girlfriend, if you preserve this passion for one another than your odds are much better to find a solution. If you are still passionate for her, but fear that the love has been lost, start from the beginning and prove to her that you are still the man of her dreams.

Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back

2008-02-11T21:14:00.000-05:00

Once you get past the initial shock of being dumped by your girlfriend you have to make the call on whether or not your will try to get them back. Most people are hungry to get started with this action but very few actually succeed because they lack the persistence and patience it can take to be successful.

As with anything good that is worth having, you have to earn your girlfriend’s love back. This starts by identifying why you broke up in the first place. Always remember that there is a definitive reason why this happened. Don’t try to blame it on another guy or her friends because the bottom line is that if she loved you she would have never left. Once you get out of the “excuses mode” you will be ready to start your journey.

The one thing that you don’t want to do is to rush through the process. Texting, begging, and stalking are some of the most popular tactics that people use and all of them end to backfire miserably. To truly win back her love you will need to rebuild the friendship, trust, and companionship that you let slip away in the first round of your relationship.

Instead of rewriting the basic steps to getting your ex back, I recommend reading this short article: 3 Steps to Get Your Ex Back If you have the determination to follow through on these suggestions then you will be well on your way to avoiding the mistakes that so many others have made in your shoes.

What Does Your Ex Girlfriend Want?

2007-12-16T21:18:00.000-05:00

Fixing a break up is a lot like like solving a mystery. For every reason you know why your ex girlfriend left you, there are usually a handful of other reasons you don't know. Sadly, most people don't have the heart to tell an ex lover the full reason they left. They either don't think the other person can handle it, or they simply don't want to cause any more conflict. But as delicate as your self-esteem may be, it is crucial to find all of the reasons your ex left. Here are some you may not be aware of.

Trust
If she doesn't trust you then her life with you will always be filled with stress and anxiety. Think back to your time together and see if you can identify any incidents when you let her down. If you have already thought of some, then you desperately need to find a way to rebuild the trust between you.

Fun
This one may not be as obvious but it is important. Did you have FUN together? Long term relationships can get boring if we are not creative. If you spent the majority of your nights together watching movies or playing video games then it is likely she is looking for more excitement in her life You need to impress her with a fun night that will prove how much fun you can be. Here's a hint...skip the movies.

Passion
If your love life became stale near the end of your relationship, then your break up may have been the result of a lack of passion. This is not something you can fix overnight, but you can start the rebuilding process right away. The key is to be romantic and build her curiosity. Don't throw yourself at her. Put some thought into a long-term romantic strategy and keep her on her toes. Once you have caught her interest you need to keep teasing her so that the passion will build.

These are just some of things that girls rarely bring up when the break up with guys. It usually isn't because they aren't aware of the problem, but rather, they don't want to hurt your feelings or spark a confrontation. This is why you'll need to be honest with yourself and do some detective work. You'll never be able to get your ex girlfriend back unless you know exactly why they left.

Staying Positive

2007-10-01T21:01:00.000-04:00

It can be so easy to stay depressed after a break up. Your friends and family members all feel sorry for you and the extra attention can be comforting. But in the long run, this "boo-hoo" attitude can ruin your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back.

Girlfriends look to their man to be the strong side of the relationship. Whether or not it is fair, the man is expected to carry the relationship through the tough times. If you think that acting depressed will invoke pity and win back your girlfriend, then you will likely be disappointed. You will probably be viewed as a weak person who can't provide the emotional support your ex is looking for.

Another reason to focus on positivity is the contagious effect it has on the people you interact with. This is important when trying to get back with your ex. You should appear confident and excited about the prospect of getting back together. You want her to smile and laugh when you are together, not feel sorry for how pathetic you have turned out.

Staying positive throughout the relationship healing process is vital to your chances to fix things. You could compare it to wild animals in that "only the strong survive". By keeping a positive outlook (or at least faking one) you will come across as a strong and confident person. This will make your ex take notice and be more open to giving you another chance.

Should You Date If You Still Love Her?

2007-09-07T14:45:00.000-04:00

One of the hardest decisions to make after a break up is if you should date other people. You might be worried that this will send the wrong signal to your ex girlfriend. This is a natural reaction, but you should accept your break up for what it is. You are both single now and life does go on. That being said, here are some tips for dating again when you still love your ex girlfriend.

Be Honest
You should always tell your date up front that you are still getting over a relationship. This should be done by the end of the first date if you plan on seeing them again. You don’t want to get caught in a web of lies, and being honest about it upfront will relieve you of the responsibility.

You Can Still See Your Ex
Taking care of the honesty part will leave the door open for you to reunite with your ex if the opportunity arises. This means you can still talk to them on the phone or meet them out for lunch. One thing you want to be careful of though is the “friends talk”. If you really want her back, then keep things romantic. Otherwise it will spiral into a friendship.

Don’t Waste Time with a Trophy Girl
Going out with another girl just to make your ex jealous will probably end up being a big waste off time. You might get your ex’s attention, but the time and effort you put into to dating and playing games will leave you wondering if it was worth it. It is fine if you meet a girl who is fun to be with, but don’t look to date the hottest girl just to show her off. All this does is send the wrong message to your ex.

You can date after a break up, even if you are still in love. But the key is to be honest with everyone, and do it only because you want to. Anything else will be more trouble than it is worth, especially if you want to get your ex back.

Sending Flowers After a Break Up

2007-08-29T21:46:00.000-04:00

One of the most popular ideas people use to try to get their ex girlfriend back is to send them flowers. While it may seem like a good idea when you are desperate for a solution, here are some reasons why it probably won't work.

It Lacks Creativity
If you really want to "wow" your ex, then you are going to have to come up with something better. Flowers are nice, but frankly they have been done by millions of hopeless souls before you. Turn on your creative juices and come up with something that will make an impression.

It Might Be Embarrassing
If you are in the middle of heated break up, then it is likely that your ex has told her friends how she is "so done with you". If you send flowers to her work or school, then you actually create a situation where she has to decide how to respond in front of these same people. This creates a tense situation, and you could lose the effect of your surprise because of it. Worse yet, she might throw the flowers away just to make a statement!

Flowers Can't Talk
No matter how much you pray that flowers will buy you some breathing room, they can't replace the your spoken thoughts. At some point you are going to have to sit down with your ex and spill your heart to her. Too many people send gifts hoping that they will solve everything. The truth is that while they may open the door a crack, there is still a lot of work to do on your part if you are going to win her back.

Does sending flowers have a place in the process of healing a relationship? Sure - but they need to be utilized with some common sense. Never send them as your first form of communication after a break up. You will only have one or two chances to prove yourself worthy of consideration, and there are too many variables with flowers to count on them. If you have to use them, then send them after things are moving in the right direction. This way you'll know that they won't get tossed!

Confidence is Key

2007-08-24T14:13:00.000-04:00

Trying to win back love requires a good game plan, but is also requires a sense of confidence. Even the most detailed strategy will do you no good if you fail to carry it out.

Most people recognize some of the reasons why their ex left them. They are willing to make changes in their life, but they never get the chance because they let their lack of confidence stand in the way. They are either afraid to approach their ex, or they clam-up when talking to them. This not only sends the wrong signals, but it also eliminates any chance they have of winning them back.

Even though it is difficult to deal with a break up, you have to approach things with a positive demeanor. Think of the reasons why you are a good person and use them to market yourself. Once you have learned to accept yourself, you will be come more confident. This confidence will be apparent to everyone you deal with...including your ex girlfriend.

Don't be hesitant to make your move. Ignore all of the negative things that your mind tries to tell you. You were good enough to be her boyfriend in the past, and the new "confident you" is an even better catch now. Let her see your confidence and you will reap the rewards.

Contacting Your Ex Girlfriend

2007-08-15T15:10:00.000-04:00

When you first try to contact your girlfriend after a break up, you need to have a strategy of what you are going to say. Simply picking up the phone and hoping for the best will most likely lead to regret.

Think about the message that you want to portray to your ex. Was it your fault that she left you? What factors were involved in the break up? Answering these questions will help you target your message appropriately. You need to be able to explain to her how things can be different and what you have done to change the problems you have experienced in the past. If you don’t have any solutions, then you need to brainstorm some before you call. Otherwise you won’t have any answers for the toughest questions.

The success of your dialogue will be influenced by the manner that you present your strategy. Remember to always be positive when talking to her. You need to portray confidence that things have changed and your relationship can succeed. Approaching with a positive tone will ultimately rub off on your ex. She will be less likely to be defensive, and more likely to open up to your suggestions.

Finally, you need to prepare for a long-term solution. Your relationship did not bloom instantly overnight. Rather it was built through a series of fun times and trust-building activities. On that same token, you can’t expect to fix your break up right away. You will have to rebuild the trust and confidence slowly over time. This is why it is important to shoot for smaller goals at first. Work on reestablishing the lines of communication first, then you can start to talk about the future. Fix today’s problems before you tackle your future together.

So in short, think about what you will say to her, portray yourself with confidence, and work slowly. All of these things will help build a successful foundation to get your ex back.

What are you wating for?

2007-07-30T21:43:00.000-04:00

Wondering why your ex girlfriend broke up with you? It might be related to the fact that you are still sitting around wishing she would come back.

Taking action is an important step in getting your ex girlfriend back. Everyday you sit in misery, just hoping things will get better is a waste of time. Not only does it prove that you are just a dreamer, but it also reinforces the decision she made to leave you. If you are going to win back your lover, then you have to be willing to work hard and prove yourself. No one is going to take you back just so they can sit through the same problems they have already freed themselves from.

Coming up with a gameplan should be your #1 priority. You should have a unique idea for everyday that will bridge the gap between you and your ex. For those of you who had tough breakups, this could be as simple as establishing communication. You may get shut down the first couple of tries, but this is where the "hard work" comes in. Get Freakin Creative! Grab her attention and let her know that things are different. Do something that says "I have learned from my mistakes." Slowly build upon your progress and remember that each day you are getting a little closer.

Not the creative type? Visit Get Your Ex Back for step-by-step instructions on how to win back love.

Attract Her Back with the Real You

2007-07-22T10:45:00.000-04:00

Desperation is a natural reaction when your girlfriend breaks up with you. You might feel a sense of panic which leads to trying everything you can to get her back. While it is understandable to try and get your ex back, you should also be careful not to sacrifice your values or change too much.

The negative of spending too much effort on changing your “old ways” is that you could attract your ex back under false pretenses. In other words, if you adjust your personality solely to get her back, then she will not be attracted to the real you. Once you become more comfortable in the relationship, then your real personality is likely to show through again which will bring up the problems that led to your initial breakup.

The bottom line is that it is okay to make changes if you are trying to improve yourself or correct faults. But you should never change your lifestyle just to impress someone. These types of changes are not healthy for you, and eventually the fakeness will show through and you will be back where you started.

Getting Your Foot in the Door

2007-07-18T11:46:00.000-04:00

Once you are talking to your ex-girlfriend again, you will have an opportunity to demonstrate your best qualities. Instead of trying to rekindle things with her, I recommend that you show exactly how much fun you can provide her. To make it simple, just treat her like a first date who you are really attracted to.

This means that you follow the basic attraction and seduction techniques. For instance, you should be cocky/funny, show confidence and act like you don't care about the outcome of your interactions. If you do your job correctly, she'll start to realize that she's missing out on a golden opportunity. Once this happens, she'll start to pursue you!

Don’t Bother with Revenge

2007-07-12T15:42:00.000-04:00

Trying to get revenge on an ex girlfriend will never do any good for you or anyone else. You may think that it is the only way to get over her but it is not. The more you hate the person, the more you are prolonging your agony. Ex girlfriend revenge only causes you stress and anxiety. Worst of all, things could change swiftly, and you may find yourself regretting your action in the future.

Instead of nurturing the hurt that you feel, you should look at the brighter side of life and move on. Dwelling on that revenge can only stir up the ashes of your own hurt and resentment. These feelings will prevent your from working on any solutions to your relationship that might help get your ex girlfriend back. Instead of wallowing in the pain and trying to transfer it, work on dealing with it and improving yourself. You will have the best chance to get over your breakup and possibly even winning back your lover if you eliminate the negativity surrounding your relationship.

Bear in mind that you are causing more harm to yourself than the other person. Revenge will never share the pain, but it will just increase it. Always consider that poorly conceived ex girlfriend revenge plots usually wind up making you look bad, and thus making you feel worse.

Win Her Friends Over

2007-07-06T22:39:00.000-04:00

Girls form pretty strong bonds between their friends, and they tend to talk much more openly about their relationships than guys do. Because of this, it is likely that your ex girlfriend's buddies know a lot about you. They know why she loved you, but they also know why you broke up. This information can be dangerous if you try fight against her friends.

If you are suffering through a tough breakup then her friends are probably against you. They want their friend to be happy and so they see you as the enemy. You might get the "evil eye" or a snide giggle when you around them...just expect it. What you don't want to do is give them anymore reason to hate you. Calling them out will only make things worse. Instead, you should be as nice to them as possible. Use some of the same tactics on them as you would your ex girlfriend. Little things like compliments can help you break down the some of the many barriers between you and your ex.

Winning back your ex girlfriend involves all facets of her social circles. She has to feel comfortable around you if you are going to succeed. This is why you need her friends on your side.

Compliment Your Ex Girlfriend

2007-06-26T21:34:00.000-04:00

Sometimes it is the simple things that can go a long way to getting your ex girlfriend back, and one example of this is complimenting them. Breakups tend to occur after the "magic" has worn off in a relationship. You get too comfortable with a good thing and forget to keep the romance alive. But now it is time to spark the flames of passion.

Unless you are Brad Pitt, there is probably very few things you can say in one line to sweep your ex girlfriend off her feet. Instead, you are going to have to start small and build from there. Women spend a lot of time on their appearance and this is where you should target your comments. Hair, shoes, clothes, and jewelry are all good places to start. Try to pick something that is not so obvious. Ideally you would notice a new outfit or necklace that she doesn't normally wear.

You don't want to go overboard with the compliments - just something that will make her smile. This is a great way to breakdown her defenses and let you talk without the stress of your relationship problems. From there you just need to get creative. Make her realize that you regret the things that happened and that it is worth her time to give you another chance. It might be a long road, but you'll be on the right track if you can use compliments to get her talking to you again.

Where to start after she dumps you.

2007-06-18T14:19:00.000-04:00

Breakup news can come without warning and the surprise factor alone can be enough to make your head sin. You are left to wonder how your girlfriend became your ex girlfriend, and if there is anything you can do to fix the relationship. If you recently were dumped, then you will need to come up with a strategy fast to win her back. Here are some quick tips.

Be Seen
It is not the best idea to harass your ex girlfriend and beg her to come back. A better alternative is to make her want you back. The best way to go about this is to make her see you at your best. Go to parties and social spots where you know she will be. Say hi and be cordial, but don't make things uncomfortable. Make her see you having fun and being sociable with others. She'll soon realize how big of an impact you had on her social life.

Improve Yourself
Now is the time to start working out and following your dreams. If you have been talking about going to school or getting a new job, then now is the time. Your ex girlfriend will soon hear about the new you, and she will be impressed with your commitments. Even if she doesn't notice your hard work, the new you will be more likely to attract a another girlfriend!

Build a Friendship without Saying the F-Word
Getting your ex back usually means reestablishing a broken relationship. This is not something that happens overnight, and it typically requires starting at the friend level first. That is OK...just don't promote the word "friends". As long as she is talking to you then progress is possible. What you don't want to happen is her becoming comfortable with you as friend. Take it slow, but keep the feelings of passion and attraction in the background at all times.

Should You Get Revenge On An Ex-Girlfriend?

2007-06-12T12:47:00.000-04:00

Falling in love and entering with someone in a relationship is a really nice experience. But in a relationship, it is not always a happy ending. And you may have experienced being ditched by your man for somebody else or for any other reason. After your breakup, you might have thought of hatching ex girlfriend revenge plots to him. You are heart-broken and it is just natural that you feel rage after. But being a revenge ex girlfriend is not necessary the best thing to be.

If you are going through a breakup, you should keep in mind that being revenge ex girlfriend will never do any good to you or to your ex partner who have hurt you so bad. You may think that it is your only outlet to get over him but actually it is not. The more you hate the person, the more you are prolonging your agony. Ex girlfriend revenge can only cause you more hurt and could even ruin your life. When you are angry, there is always a tendency for you to hurt others and think of ex girlfriend revenge. And you might just regret doing it in the end. In order to avoid being a revenge ex girlfriend, there are things which you should bear in mind and actions that you have to take.

Move on and get on with your life. Instead of nurturing the hurt that you feel, you should look at the brighter side of life and move on. If you prefer to be a revenge ex girlfriend, your life will be stuck in that anger forever and you will make your life more miserable. Dwelling on that revenge can only stir up the ashes of your own hurt and resentment. Bear in mind that you are causing more harm to yourself than the other person. Ex girlfriend revenge will never share the pain, but it will just increase it. Always consider that poorly conceived ex girlfriend revenge plots might wind up making you look bad, thus it makes you feel worse. If you think of ex girlfriend revenge as getting even, well think again. Why should you want to get even with a loser in the first place?

Forgive and forget. In order to completely move on, you must learn to forgive your ex boyfriend and you should start to forget what happened. Ex girlfriend revenge will keep you from forgiving and forgetting. If you keep on hating and despising that person, there will never be a room for forgiveness. Instead of entertaining ex girlfriend revenge on your thoughts, you should erase past hurt from your system so it won’t be hard for you to forgive, let go, and move on. You should also let go of those grudges and resentments to completely make your life free from misery. Ex girlfriend revenge is one thing that can never make you happier and more of a person. You should really try to invoke forgiveness.

There is nothing wrong in loving. They even say that it is better to love and lost than to never love at all. But always remember that if ever a worst breakup comes in your way, never resort to ex girlfriend revenge. Revenge ex girlfriend can never be the sweetest thing you know. The more you hate, the more you add to your misery. So instead of thinking of an ex girlfriend revenge, why don’t you just let go, forgive, forget, and move on. Remember that when a door closes, a window opens.

My Relationship Tips is your one stop for relationship advice.

Be Creative to Win Her Back

2007-06-07T16:14:00.000-04:00

Perhaps the most important element of saving a troubled relationship is creativity. Remember how much fun you had with your partner when you first started dating? Some of this was attributed to the excitement of a new experience. Using your creativity, you can rekindle your relationship by suggesting new things you do with your partner. Sporting events, amusement parks, and concerts are all great ways to bring back excitement to your relationship. The key is to come up with new ideas that will help you both remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Nasty Breakup Letter

2007-06-05T08:21:00.000-04:00

Somtimes the truth comes out quite easily...

http://thrillsonthehill.com/2007/05/31/nasty-breakup-letter/trackback/

Taking Risks Can Pay

2007-06-03T21:51:00.000-04:00

Being dumped is a hard pill to swallow, and it can lead to a lack of self-confidence. This might make you suggesting anything to your ex that might be rejected by her. But in order to win back your ex girlfriend, you can't be intimidated by rejection. Simple suggestions such as going to dinner, or out for a movie, may seem crazy if you are fighting, but sometimes a spontaneous idea can take the stress out of a breakup. The key here is to be proactive with your ideas. You can't expect problems to solve themselves, and you can't wait for your partner to make the first move. If you value your relationship then you need to take risks to get her back - this includes making the first move.

Don't Be the Jealous Boyfriend

2007-05-31T15:54:00.000-04:00

Jealousy is sign of insecurity and a lack of self-confidence. If you are trying to get your ex girlfriend back, or save a troubled relationship then jealous behavior could hurt your efforts.

Women and men interact constantly, and just because your ex is talking to the opposite sex does not mean you should draw a conclusion. If you freak-out or become territorial in these situations then you can actually scare your ex away. She won't like feeling smothered, and will probably try to find more freedom.

Jealousy can also lead to threats. You should never try to scare your ex girlfriend by telling her not to date anyone else. You may think this scare tactic will keep her close, but it will actually make her trust you less.

The best way to deal with jealousy is to try and ignore it. Let your ex live her life while you work on improving yours. Your respect for her privacy will ultimately buy you more time to win her back.

Girlfriends Need Romance

2007-05-28T22:19:00.000-04:00

One of the most common reasons that men fail at relationships is a lack of romance. They work so hard at the beginning to win the love of a girl, but as time passes the effort level falls. this leads to relationship boredom, which can kill even the strongest bond.

If you know that you let the romance slip out of your relationship then now is the time to step up the game. You will have to start from scratch, but there is still time. Think of the things you did when you first started dating your girlfriend. Take the best dates you had and trump them. You don't necessarily have to spend tons of money...just get really creative. Sometimes the simplest things go much farther than elaborate gifts.

Don't jump into any thing right away. You have to start small and build your way back into her life. Begin by making friends, then the door will open enough for you to try more aggressive strategies.

Be Careful with the F Word

2007-05-23T13:45:00.000-04:00

Breakups can often times lead to repeated use of the dreaded F word. You know which word I'm talking about don't you?

Yes, the word is FRIENDS, and it should not be used unless you mean it.

As mentioned before, it is important to be supportive of your ex girlfriend after she dumps you. Your positivity will get you much farther than blowing a gasket will. But you must try to avoid the term "friends" at all costs. This can close the door on future opportunities to get back with her. If your ex girlfriend feels secure that you are a friend, then she will turn off all of her attraction instincts.

Be supportive, but maintain the notion that you want to get back together. You don't have to be forceful about it - just keep the thought in her head. It is then up to you to make yourself more attractive as a boyfriend.

Reverse Psychology Can Work

2007-05-22T21:57:00.000-04:00

You may have thought that reverse psychology only works on children, and for the most part this is probably true. However, they still might be some value in this old tactic when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back.

As hard as it may be to imagine, supporting your ex's decision to leave you can pay dividends. People tend to be skeptical of things that are "too easy". This is where you can make her second guess her decision to leave you. By claiming to "understand her decision", and suggesting that "we both need time away", you can bring a new angle to your breakup.

If she really cares about you, then it is likely she stressed over how to tell you the bad news. By making things easy, you will have turned a negative into a positive - and this will earn you more respect in the long run. But the hardest part is still to come. You have to continue this act, no matter how much it hurts, for as long as it takes. It will take time for her to come around, but she should start to reach out more within a month or so. This is the opening you have to capitalize on.

Give Her Space

2007-05-21T21:19:00.000-04:00

Is is a natural reaction to want to call your ex girlfriend soon after your breakup. You want to ask for forgiveness, or another chance. Unfortunately, although this seems to be a good strategy, it is one of the worst moves to make.

The period after a breakup is volatile time for both sides. There is a lot of confusion, sadness, and even anger involved. It is best to let things simmer down before you make your move back into her life.

Trying to contact her too early leaves all of your cards on the table. She is now in control, and you have nothing else do except call her again. Instead of calling, try to reflect on your relationship to figure out why it was successful in the beginning, and what has changed. This will help you form a plan to get her back.

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

2007-05-18T17:03:00.001-04:00

If you recently were dumped by your girlfriend, you are probably going through the same post-relationship confusion and sadness that many men in your shoes have faced before. You wonder how things got to this point and what you can do to get your ex girlfriend back. There are many ways to win back love, but you need to start with the basics. Here are some tips basic tips to help you get started.

Get Out
Sitting around the house feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to help your self-esteem or improve you chances of winning your ex back. You need to take your mind off of the negative thoughts and start rebuilding your confidence. Luckily for guys there are usually plenty of opportunities to divert your attention. Get together with old friends for a beer, or join some friends at a ballgame. By proving to yourself that you can have fun without your ex, you will gain the confidence needed to make your move back in her life.

Don’t Beg
Nothing is more pathetic than calling your ex and pleading for forgiveness or another chance. Sure you may have made some costly mistakes, but women are typically attracted to dominate personalities. By giving your ex girlfriend some space, you will actually add an element of mystery to the game. She will begin to think of you and what you are doing. If true love is in the cards, than she will call eventually. At this point you will be playing on a level field with a better chance of getting back together. You can still apologize for things you did wrong, just don’t give her reason to believe there might be a better man in her future.

Build Your Strengths
All of a sudden you probably have more time to yourself. Utilize this opportunity to improve yourself, which will make you more attractive to your ex and other women. Start exercising more, enroll in classes, look for a new job…anything that shows you are building for the future instead of living in the past. It may take time, but your ex girlfriend will eventually notice your hard work. Everyone likes to be associated with a winner, and the new, successful you will draw much more attraction than the old couch potato that brings nothing to the table.

Don’t Give Up
Whatever the situation was that led to your breakup, it likely occurred slowly over time. All relationships start out strong because of the excitement and mystery that comes with meeting someone new. As time moves on though, things become more complacent and the relationship loses its spark. It can be hard to get this fire going again, but persistence is your best ally. Work on improving yourself and monitor the situation of your ex. The time will come when you can make your move. You may have to wait months for the right opportunity, but making sure you have something to offer will allow you to pounce on the moment.

There is no such thing as an instant solution to getting back your ex girlfriend. There are however a handful of proven strategies that can help you start in the right direction. Find a targeted strategy for your unique situation by visiting Get Back My Ex.